I’M watching the telecast of the 82nd Academy Awards again and I have to say, this is the – for lack of a better word – disjointed Oscars ceremony I’ve seen in a long time. Not the most boring, thank goodness, because there were enough blips as well as woots to keep things interesting. Such as…
1) TWO hosts for the show. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. Which begs the question: WHY? While the jokes themselves were quite funny (Steve telling Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner “Take a close look (at us) guys, this is you in five years”), Steve and Alec together were not. Steve had the best deliveries of course, while Alec looked like he was trying to be Steve. Solo, next year? Please?
2) Christoph Waltz, Best Supporting Actor of brill film Inglourious Basterds. His thank-you speech about going on an expedition with Quentin Tarantino – brilliant. “I can’t thank you enough, but I can start right now…” Thank you, Christoph.
3) Nicolas Schmerkin, producer of Best Animated Short Logorama. Not only a great idea for a short, but his thank-you speech was great too. “I must thank the 3,000 unofficial sponsors… no logos were harmed… it took six years to make this 16-minute film… So for my feature film, I expect to be back here in 36 years.”
4) That dance routine to highlight the music scores. Especially the interpretative dance for The Hurt Locker. Wow. What the heck was that all about?
5) The thank-you speech for Best Documentary Short, Music By Prudence: Director Roger Ross Williams’ had just begun his acceptance speech when Elinor Burkett, a producer of the short, cut in with, “The man never lets the woman talk, isn’t that just the classic thing?” (Apparently, the two had a falling-out over the direction of the short, and Burkett was removed as a producer almost a year ago but still qualified as a nominee according to Academy rules.) Only one person is allowed to accept the award and they did not discuss any arrangements before the ceremony. And we thought only Kanye West did such things at awards ceremonies…
6) Sandy Powell’s thank-you speech for winning Best Costume Design, which began something like, “I already have two of these…” What the heck was that all about? Is she trying to NOT get nominated any more? “Heck, she’s already got three…”
7) Cameron Diaz calling Steve Carrell “Jude”. As in Jude Law. Who apparently was supposed to have done the slot but couldn’t make it. Which of course begs the question: Is Jude seeing Cameron? Why Steve to replace Jude? And why didn’t they get Cameron and Steve to host? They were funnier.
Ben Stiller appearing as a Na’vi. And his line, “When I announce the winner, I’m going to stand as far away from them as possible so as not to demean their moment of triumph.”
9) Tina Fey and RDJ (that’s Robert Downey Jr, to you) gave what was probably the best introduction to a nomination presentation. RDJ’s best line: “Actors want scripts with social relevance, warm-weather locations, phone-call scenes that can be shot separately from that insane actress that I hate and long, dense columns of uninterrupted monologue.” Tina’s best line: “Writers want actors who can memorise…” Why didn’t they get these two to host? They were funnier.
10) Tim Robbins’ nod to Best Actor nominee Morgan Freeman: “I remember what you said to me on the last day of shooting (The Shawshank Redemption), you said, ‘A friend is someone who doesn’t mind getting a coffee, and you don’t mind getting one for me, right Ted? It is Ted, isn’t it?”
11) Stanley Tucci’s nod to Best Actress nom Meryl Streep: “I have asked the Academy to cap the number of nominations at 16.”
Other than that, the show was as usual: Long, backslapping and if it weren’t for the fact that hotties and hunks would be on the show, few people would tune in. So who’s ready for next year then?